ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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