Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize