If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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