me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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