I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
