is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
