She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize