yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize