hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Randomize