we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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