i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize