as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize