sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
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At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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