please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize