He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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