your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize