hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize