How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
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this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
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Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
we should paint friendship bongs
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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