shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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