You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
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They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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