Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize