I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize