I think im going to throw up on grandma
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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