My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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