My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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