You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize