What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize