I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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