can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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