No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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