Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
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he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
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Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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