im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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