her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
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Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
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I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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