She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
i believe in u and ur pee
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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