last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize