i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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