My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize