well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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