You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
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I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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