You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize