they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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