High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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