Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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