He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
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Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize