she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
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Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
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Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize