Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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