but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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