That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize