Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize