Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
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whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
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My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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