i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize