My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize